


Happy Birthday, Sirius!

by r0binmon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Azkaban, Birthday, Dementors, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Other, angsty fluff, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 22:33:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/r0binmon/pseuds/r0binmon
Summary: How Sirius experiences his 22nd Birthday!





	Happy Birthday, Sirius!

Sirius woke up, keeping his eyes shut tightly. With shaking breath he reached out his hand to touch for his surrounding. As soon as he felt the cold, hard stone his lips escaped a little whimper. He was here. This wasn't a dream. He was in Azkaban.  
„No,“ he whispered to himself, opening the eyes slowly. The memories of the last days were flooding him. He made James and Lily pick Peter. He made them make this decision and this was what killed them. It was his fault. Because he made the wrong choice.

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, choking on a sob. He lost everything that meant something to him. And now he was alone in this little cell. Even when having been here for just a few hours he had felt like he was going mad. The presence of the Dementors alone was already enough to drive others insane. He could hear the screams of the other inmates whenever those creatures were wafting through the corridors and heard the desperate whispering of all those who were already mad.  
His stomach turned at the thought he had to stay here. What should he do out there anyway? He deserved. Both of them didn't die through his hand but he was responsible for their death.

He couldn't even be there for Harry. Even he was taken from him. “I'm sorry, order from Dumbledore,” Hagrid had said when he arrived in Godric's Hollow. Then anger and desire for vengeance got Sirius and he was up and away to get Peter. Just to watch him blowing up a street with innocent muggles.  
“Why?” he asked himself quietly but couldn't find an answer for it. Slowly he got up from his uncomfortable plank bed, walked up and down through the cell. Over and over again. It should have been different.

Today was his birthday and they had decided that no matter what, they would celebrate. They would enjoy the day. They were safe and so Lily would have baked a cake. As always it would have tasted indescribable. Sirius would have played with Harry, learning him new words. 'Pafoo' he had always said. He always wanted to be with 'Pafoo'. But now all of it was over. He was here, alone with his thoughts of how it could have been. And Harry was somewhere, screaming for Mama and Dada... and Pafoo, Womy and Moomy. Again he let out a sob and dug his hands in his hair.  
“Happy Birthday, Sirius...”

Sirius woke up from his sleep, panting. He sat up and looked around, breathing heavily. His heart raced and his eyes widened of fear. “mh...? Sirius?” he heard a voice next to him. The blanked rustled and Remus head popped up from beneath it.  
“Nightmares again?” he asked, making Sirius nod. Just a second after he found himself in Remus' arms.

“It's alright...” Remus said in a soft voice and stroked the black haired man.

“Telling from the smell Lily is making the breakfast. Should we get up?” Different from other days Sirius shook his head slightly, his body trembling, and hid his face at Remus' neck.

“It was different,” he croaked out. “Everything was over... and... I was in prison. It was my fault...”

“Hush...” Remus said softly. “Nothing happened and nothing is over. Everyone is fine.”

“No! No, you don't understand. It felt so... real. It was cold and wet and... I could remember everything that happened. He got them. He killed them, Remus. I... I was at fault!” the smaller one blubbered and he looked at Remus full of despair. Laying his hands on Sirius' cheeks Remus swallowed hard and stroked him.

“Sirius. Listen. Nothing of it happened. And nothing is going to happen. This evil wizard... Voldemort... he doesn't exist. We are fine... A bit too fine, obviously,” he added as suddenly the laughing and squeaking could be heard. Sirius calmed down slowly.

He took a look at the calendar on the wall. '3rd November 1981' was written on the paper. It was today's date. He smiled a little and took a deep breath. Remus was right. It was over. What happened in his dreams wasn't real... if so it should have happened three days ago. But now everything was alright. They had planned a birthday party and Lily had promised him a cake. Tentatively Sirius got our of the bed, took his clothes from the dresser and put on trousers and pullover. He still had that thoughts in his head, but the more time passed the less he could remember his dream.

“Sirius! It's time!” Lily suddenly called him and the black haired man looked up just to see her walking in with a birthday cake. It was huge! She put it down on the table and Sirius was beaming with joy.

“That looks amazing!” The others smiled at him. “Happy Birthday, Padfoot!” they said, but he felt like he was hearing another voice. A voice he knew from his dreams. It was cold and sharp and so the fingers felt, that were laying down on his shoulders, boring into it slowly. “Happy Birthday, Black...”

Sirius took a deep breath before blowing out the candles and pushing away the feeling inside of him. He was here with his friends. They were alive. And he was free. There was no reason to be scared.  
All was well.


End file.
